30 things about me

It is hard to launch into an immediate confession about one of the sordid or stupid things I've done without giving a little background about myself. So here are some little known facts about me to set the stage for: "The things I've done"

1. I lived in 13 different houses by the time I was in 9th grade.
2. I have a hard time hugging my mother or my father.
3. I burned down my neighbors field with my best friend when I was about 10.
4. I passed the SAT in 7th grade with a grade higher than most highschool seniors.
5. The basketball coach at the highschool I went to tried to molest me. He is in jail now.
6. I tried to kill myself at the age of 24. (unsuccessfully!)
7. I love black licorice and I hate red licorice.
8. I have been diagnosed with severe ADD.
9. I cry in the shower so no one will hear me.
10. I have 7 dogs and I like them more than most people.
11. I befriended a homeless man last year and now I hide when I see him because I feel so guilty for having a home and not smelling disgusting.
12. Sometimes I do my kids homework for them.
13. Once I answered an ad on Craigs List to meet a guy that wanted to pay a woman $3000 a month to come sleep with him a couple nights a week. I chickened out.
14. I Make my kids breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, pick them up from school, and go to every sporting event they are ever in.
15. Once I slept with the president of a major home builder when I was high on cocaine just because it made me feel important. He had the smallest penis of any man I have ever seen.
16. I absolutely love flowers: every kind, every color, any time: they make me smile
17. The smell of lemons, oranges, or limes in a garbage disposal is heavenly
18. I once smoked green grass rolled up in typing paper because I thought I was smoking "grass", and almost burned down my dad's garage.
19. Rosemary is my favorite herb to cook with.
20. I judge people that can't spell...I feel bad about it but I just do.
21. I won't let people in my home unless it is spotless.
22. I am obsessed with being thin and pretty but try to act like I'm not.
23. Even though I got almost straight A's in elementary school, highschool, and college I don't feel like I have ever met my parents expectations.
24. My kids don't meet my expectations and I blame my parents for making me this way.
25. I gave one of the Seattle Seahawks coaches a blow job just because of who he was and because my friend dared me to.
26. I think it is possible to love more than one person.
27. I swallow my gum and eat entire packs of orange tic tacs.
28. I had an affair with my personal trainer and my personal assistant.....
29. I don't love myself
30. I wanted to have an epidural when I had my children but I was too afraid of the needle.

More soon........................................

Can't have a diary

I am one of the people in this world that could never have a diary.
Why? you might ask...
because I know that eventually someone would get curious and read it...
And that someone would most likely be one of my family members...
And the resulting destruction that would come out of that small act would be mind numbing.
I have so many secrets. I sometimes wonder if I am the only kind of person like this....
No..... I am not a murderer nor have I robbed any banks.... but the things I've done seem shockingly bad considering the facade I portray to the world.
Where to start.....